How to Control the Conversation & Get What You Want


This week: How to control the conversation / How to communicate when your career changes / The 8th Habit

How to Use Framing to Get What You Want

In every conversation, you want to hold the frame.

Frames are concepts that shape how we see the world. Italian food. First class. Cat videos. A word or phrase activates a certain frame in your mind.

It is similar to priming. Priming preconditions the mind for a particular theme or idea, while framing shapes how information is perceived. Priming focuses on the what, framing on the how.

Framing is not a minor detail. The Framing Effect is one of the largest psychological biases in decision-making.

How you frame your message therefore influences the emotional response of your listeners. This is relevant for positioning, presentations, pitches, and the daily conversations you have with your team.

For instance, if you want your team to take on new responsibilities, you can tell them “take responsibility”. It probably won’t work.

You can also frame it as an opportunity to learn new skills and emphasize the value this will bring to the company. The second option would be more effective.

If framing is the process of building and managing frames, then reframing is the process of intentionally shifting a conversation to grounds that are more favorable for you. For instance, you change the frame from prize to value in a sales conversation.

To persuade someone or change someone’s mind, you need to activate the right frame.

I compiled the 9 most relevant frames for you:

#1 Time Frame

Don't use: “Waiting for your reply.”

Use instead: “The deal closes on Friday.”

#2 Status Frame

Don't use: “Do you want …?”

Use instead: “Do you qualify?”

#3 Intrigue Frame

Don't use: “Here are the facts.”

Use instead: “Let me tell you about …”

#4 Data Frame

Don't use: “10% failed.”

Use instead: “90% succeeded”

#5 Prize Frame

Don't use: “It costs X”

Use instead: “The value is Y.”

#6 Choice Frame

Don't use: ”Please buy from me.”

Use instead: “I’m choosy about who I work with.”

#7 Opportunity Frame

Don't use: “We need to cut costs.”

Use instead: “This is our opportunity to be lean.”

#8 Future Frame

Don't use: “We may miss our targets.”

Use instead: “We’re on the verge of a breakthrough.”

#9 Moral Authority Frame

Don't use: “This needs to get done.”

Use instead: “We are called to meet this challenge.”

The upshot: Words activate frames. The right framing ensures your message lands with the force you intend.

This is particularly crucial when your career takes a turn.


PODCAST

How to Communicate When Your Career Changes

It happens to all of us: our career changes. We exit our business, are burnt out or lose our job. How do we deal with this emotional rollercoaster, and how can we best talk about it?

In this episode, I am joined by experts Loren Greiff and Konstanty Sliwowski to tackle the tough questions that many of us face at some point in our careers.

Loren is the founder of Portfolio Rocket, a platform dedicated to helping executives and professionals transition successfully in their careers. Konstanty runs the School of Hiring, a resource for companies and individuals seeking to improve their hiring processes.

In this conversation, they share personal experiences and actionable steps to gain clarity before communicating, understanding your reasons for the change, and how to convey them confidently. They also delve into the emotional impact of career transitions, providing practical tips for managing these challenging yet exciting times.

Listen on Spotify and Apple:


BOOK

The 8th Habit

You probably know "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People". With 20 million copies sold, it is an all-time bestseller.

I only recently discovered "The 8th Habit: From Effectiveness to Greatness" – Stephen R. Covey’s 2004 follow-up.

Covey introduces the 8th Habit – the discipline of finding your voice and inspiring others to find theirs. For him, it is the key to greatness. The book he wrote 15 years later truly complements The 7 Habits, and it deeply resonated with me.

Have an inspired weekend!

Best,

Oliver

PS: Share this newsletter with your friends & colleagues here.

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